i'm okay about it

I just got some bad news, before which provided me with a large amount of hope.

and now, in a single fax, all that hope is gone.

as much as I wanted it, I'm glad, it's given be the opportunity to be a completely clean person and I will not have such a black dot in my life. I'm glad I was given this opportunity and from now it's gonna be a clean start.

I can't wait, I have loads of plans, for which I will be needing to read extensively.

yay!

I'm great about it!
Indravenidotk

making time to run

that, I have been doing! excitedly at it too!

the reason being? I downloaded some delicious music into my Ipod Nano and

wow,

I love it!

it makes me walk fast to the point I don't realize and I now have pains at the back of my leg and today at one point the music was too good to no run to!

that too at a very fast pace! Oh life is beautiful when ure running or walking to music.

some of the tracks on my list:

Paradise - coldplay ( a remixed version)
Run the world -Beyonce

some dubstep as usual

one U2 track.
stronger- Kanye west

and if you're wondering where I get my music from,
I get it from Soundcloud

I love this site, it exposes me to so many kinds of music! you can also download the mobile app, I have one on my android phone and can stream music so easily.

and almost everything is free! there are some artists who post their music as well, for sale,

I haven't bought any so far, once I'm in a more liquid position and if I find that perfect track, I would definitely love to buy and support budding artists!

ok its back to work now
Indravenidotk

not making enough time

I didn't make time for all the things I wished to do for the past two weeks.

for e.g. blogging, my two other businesses

the internet is a great resource for information, at the same time it's so distracting. oh how I could block some of the sites that I visit.

anyhow, for some quick updates:

my climb to Mount Kinabalu was amazing, I felt positive throughout the climb, I reached laban Rata which is the 6 km check point in slightly more than 6 hours, which is great! it's within the fit level, compared to the last time where I took 10 ++ hours. how embarrassing.

regardless, I made it to laban rata, I never felt like giving up at any point of time, I just climbed, climbed at my own pace.

the next day however, when we all awoke in the early morning, around 2AM, in the freezing temperatures to climb to the peak, about 2 hours into the climb, we had to turn back as it started raining and it was dangerous to climb.

in this part of the climb, I was quided by another guide and he had an immensely negative impact on me. I felt weak, tired and wanted to turn back, the previous day however, the guide would just be silent everyvtime I stopped to take a break and left me at my own pace.

and it made me realize how I let negativity impact me, I shouldn't.

Yes I should only surround my self around positive energy, however, if there is inevitable negative energy approaching, I should strengthen my individual self to block it.

so that will be in the pipeline for me, not allowing others to dissuade me, not fearing others and their perceptions and just not having fear in general. it's just a waste of time.

I'm positive
Indravenidotk

can be better

something that was recently brought to my attention:

things/situations/ I can be better.

if things/situations aren't going good, always say that it can be better. I have a bad habit of talking about lots of negative things, for e.g. saying I'm starving, or dying,

ok those are the only two things that come up right now, point is, I always go to extreme ends on the negative scale. and this should stop.

also, when I apply for posts and don't get them, I feel very rejected. but a friend recently told me, that it's only because there was someone better, so it is me, but I can still be worked on.

previously, I'd always think that I was just a lousy loser, so from now on the thoughts are gonna change to; there's someone better, you've gotta keep up.

so no more lamenting from now on.

cheers
Indravenidotk

fear & mistakes

there's something different happening to me right now. I feel a lot more courageous. I have generally feared people, fear of being rejected, fear of disappointing them, fear of not living up to their expectations.

I realize that this is very sill of me. it's gonna stop now. one of my fears included not being able to rent out my apartment and settling for lower rental. which I feel was a grave error on my part. now I'll be losing out on an annual income of about RM1200.

I'm gonna stop being pushed around, stop settling for easier things, not have people talk inappropriately to me and speak my mind.

another problem that I have, is that, I make mistakes, I have to stop, I have to learn from other peoples mistakes, and this is not by merely listening to my dad, but it's to probe, and ask questions, from people I meet and talk to.

and uhh, this is not a new years thing, cos it's the third of January, I have a bad flu, woke up today and realized that my tenancy agreement should not be prepared by my tenant. I should be doing it. It is a legal document.

so everything has to be done with a first class standard. I will not settle for anything less. period.

indravenidotk